I don't know about you, but we are hustling and bustling around here getting prepared for our holiday season. We have had so many parties and celebrations this month to last us for an entire year, yet we keep pressing on. Yesterday was no different. It was a day of planning a party for our friends and children to enjoy. It was a time that was celebrated by all. The only catch, was a conflict that was followed by a misunderstanding. Leading to feelings being hurt, tears being shed, and anger. For me something that was suppose to be a good time turned into something that made me ashamed of how I handled a situation. I said words I usually never say, I did things I normally do not do and in the end when the conflict and misunderstanding was resolved, I was still feeling very disheartened. And to make things even more unsettling, I had my sweet little one sitting next to me talking to me about her daddy's upcoming deployment and how sad she was that he was leaving. I mean really when I say my heart hurt yesterday it did. I felt like my rage about a conflict between friends, his upcoming deployment and my own personal stresses with the holiday season was coming on like a strong storm and I was on for the ride. I literally felt tossed around as if I was being moved by the currant in the sea. If there was ever time I felt like Satan was breathing down my neck it was yesterday. Instead of crying out for help, I lashed out, instead of praying, I yelled and finally when the storm passed, I was left feeling emotionally and spiritually drained. As I laid in my bed last night, I prayed that God would forgive me and to help me handle these next few months more gracefully than I did that day! For I know there will be more days when storms will arise and I must take refuge, but only with him. I also took a moment to be humbled by my own words that I recently had spoken to my sweet little one. I warned her to be careful of what she says because the Lord warns us so many times about the firey tongue that we all have and that words can be a powerful weapon that can leave so many wounds behind. WOW! Thank you Lord for reminding me to follow through on my own teachings!
So just as all storms, they pass and usually leave the new day filled with abundance of sunshine and this morning was no exception. It always reminds me of the bible story Noah's Ark and how after so many days of floods the Lord began the earth in the new. Clearing away all the bad and leaving just the good. And through those days of rain and stormy nights the Lord was still there and kept his promise to Noah that one day the earth would return to dry land and that there would never be another storm like that again. But through those storms there still was growth as the dove brought back the tree branch to him as proof. It is a refreshing reminder that through all storms in life we face, God helps us grow new branches of faith and strength and if we had not experienced the storm, there would not be any new fruit or branches to bare.
My beautiful friend how you have touched my soul. So many times I have followed the same path and lay in judgement at the end of a day. For no one is as hard on us mamas as we are on ourselves. But it's these times that the Lord wraps his arms around us and shields us from evil, "steps up his game" so to speak. Hell knows no fury like us protecting our babies from harm. That's the way the Lord loves us. And the blessing of you is that you know the difference and you forge on with your whole heart to not just ask forgiveness, but to do better next time. As I have been tested lately, I've found the most peace in admitting that I may not always handle things the best way, but I always try my best to learn a lesson when I feel I fall short. When you say that with a sincere heart to your babies, friends, family and to yourself, it helps the storm pass. Much love you to you!
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