Thursday, August 29, 2013
Most of you who read my blog already know that we are expecting our third sweet girl in October. Our journey to get here, 8 months along, was not an easy road. Hyperemesis Gravidarum is a real condition (for more info about this condition please go to www.helpher.org) and one that I would not wish even on my worst enemy. I continue to suffer from morning sickness, but am thankful those first 6 months have passed. Honestly, to be completely depleted of nutrients, fluids and bodily functions is a low point that few will ever experience. It is a point where you can see how death can be good escape, but you continue to hold on to God's promises so you push just to make it to another day. As blood would pour from my mouth (due to esophagus tearing) I would cry out to my Lord for mercy. I would cling to my Christian music and weep as I read my bible. Each day as night approached, I would pray the next day would bring relief and this "morning sickness" would be over. As each day turned in to weeks, months, my body continued to break down from a strong athletic build of 125 pounds to a boney barely 103 pounds. As you can imagine, there were many days spent on iv medications, shots given, medicines attempted, anything to bring relief. All the while my body slowly breaking, my heart heavy, and the idea of losing this sweet baby due to severity of malnutrition and dehydration took over, I fell asleep on my couch. I had a dream that I knew was heaven sent. In the dream, I was approached by my Granny in heaven. She saw me crying and she brought me over and asked me, " What's wrong darlin?"I replied, and told her all about what was happening with this pregnancy and she just held me, patted my back and reassured me that this baby would be just fine while reminding me that all of the women in our family are strong and it will all be ok. I woke up and just started balling. The following few days continued to be bad, but I kept thinking about my dream, clinging to some hope that what my Granny said in my dream would be true. I ended up in the hospital again for about my 8th admission stay and was greeted by the same nurse who always took care of me. She put me in the same bed I had been in the other 7 times and she began a new i.v. for me. A few days later, she came in and said today you are going to get a roommate. I had never had one up until this point in my stays so I was little taken back. In came a large, African American woman, who was going to have to have gall bladder surgery. I guess she was nervous because she began talking a lot to me and asking me questions. At this point I was hoping for my discharge papers to go home and get back to my sweet girls and own bed. I tried talking as much as I could, but honestly was too weak to do a lot of it. Finally, the doctor came in and gave me my discharge papers and I began preparations for going home. As I began to leave, this sweet woman said, "come here darlin and give me a hug." Her tone was friendly and warming and her words so familiar. I naturally did what she asked and she gave me the biggest, warmest, hug and as she patted my back she said, "everything is going to be ok with you and that baby. I just know it." She also told me she would pray for us. I then asked her what her name was and she said, "Wanda". At this point, I was totally taken back. That was my Granny's name and her love and embrace was just as my dream. I couldn't believe it. Holding back tears, I told her thank you and that we would pray for her too as she went through surgery and healing and we left. As we went home and while home, I just couldn't get this moment out of my mind. Truly, God was telling me to keep trusting and he used his Angels to help me in my lowest point. I have always believed in Angels and read about them in the bible, but honestly, hadn't studied enough about them to think there are modern day angels sent to watch out for you. Regardless of your thoughts or mine on the matter, I knew God used this woman and her circumstance to be my Angel of the moment. He knew how badly, I needed that extra support and reminder. Those long days of crying out for mercy and asking HIM if he is listening was all shown in this one moment. He was listening, he was answering, and from then on I knew we would be ok. Mind you, it was several more weeks of suffering, but this time instead of a aching, longing heart, my heart was full and content. My patience and faith had grown and now at over 8 months pregnant, baby Riley Joy is doing perfectly. We have both gained our share of weight, my "morning sickness" well is now just the normal case and we are counting down the weeks until she makes her grand arrival. My heart is overwhelmed and I wanted to share this story with our loved ones so that you know God listens and answers prayer. Sometimes and often times not on our time, but in HIS perfect timing. He uses people to minister to others, so be prepared to be used or to be shown through others his will and words for you. Our family has been very blessed by many angels in our midst. Friends to be there no matter how low you are, to encourage and care for my children when I couldn't, to make meals for them so that they could have a home cooked meal. A back rub from a best friend while reassuring you that you'll make it. Every little and big thing was a ministry to me. I am humbled by HIS love and the love that my friends and family have shown around me. My prayer is that when the Lord calls me, that I too will be a minister and angel that is needed to provide that support and love. Exodus 23:20-23 "See, I am sending an angel before you, to guard you on the way and bring you to the place I have prepared.  Be attentive to him and heed his voice. Do not rebel against him, for he will not forgive your sin. My authority resides in him.  If you heed his voice and carry out all I tell you, I will be an enemy to your enemies and a foe to your foes.