Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Recently, my husband and I have been given many teaching opportunities within our church and we are willfully accepting to take on this new challenge. It excites us, yet makes us really nervous. With each new lesson we read together, we laugh and reflect on the past. We talk about us before the kids came, how things were after having children and the many places we have lived and family's that have touched our lives. We have truly been blessed and now looking back, things have always worked out to God's plan, to his perfect plan that he made just for us. During this teaching process, I have come to know so many mothers and friends who are in the exact same place I was 5 almost 6 years ago. Their days are filled with preschool, naps, tantrums, and potty training. It is a time that I know personally was challenging for me. I remember those days, they were long and tiring. My husband was deployed and my days were spent mostly like the movie Ground Hog Day, where every day was the same thing. I had a 3 year old that could talk too well for her own good and very busy, a baby just being weened from nursing and still not always sleeping through the night due to her reflux. I was tired, alone, and completely overwhelmed. Now being more a mentor to others, people have asked me, "how did you do it?"! My first initial thought and response is to take a deep breath and almost laughlingly, I reply, "you're not going to kill them." I know this may seem obvious, but those tiring 3 year old years could put a wearing on any mama. Days filled with tantrums and crying can wear on anyones patience. And trust me when I tell you that strong willed children are put on this earth for a reason. We may not understand it at first or see the people they are becoming while they are thrown out in front of a Walmart, but listen when I tell you, it will come. You won't kill them and the moments do pass. The grooming years progress and with each new stage will rise new challenges, but just as when they are 3 they will pass. Now my G is 8 and no longer making the sliding doors at a Walmart go crazy, she is a calm, insightful and a loving little girl. She is embracing every new thing as a new challenge and is determined to succeed at each one. She still has a lot to learn, but she is seeking HIM and learning. This makes me so proud as a mother. But while living in those moments of me holding her and rocking her as she cried, seemed like they were endless and I may never see this blooming little girl. I remember I would fill the air with song. Some days she would join in with me, other days the only thing that would be heard were her sniffles and my voice singing. Honestly, I began this singing ritual more for myself than for her. It calmed me just as much so that finally we could talk. I could reflect on words I was going to use and she could catch her breath. Once everyone was calm, I could remind her of the good spirit/ soul that God gave to her and how her behavior did not reflect a christ like heart. Now at 8 baby girl is singing to herself on bad days and what is she choosing to sing, " Bless the Lord oh my soul, Worship his holy name." So if there is anything I would like to share with any mama dealing with a baby out there that is stronged will. Remember it is only temporary though I know it doesn't feel that way, know that God gave you the perfect baby for you and them the perfect mama, made just for them. Know that your fruits are holy and will pay off. Pray with them and for them, sing to them. But more than anything, instead of yelling, or being angry, embrace them. Because when they are older and these moments have passed, what song will your little one choose to sing to make themselves feel better?