"I love You this Big!"

So by now everyone has heard the hit song " I Love You This Big" from the American Idol winner Scotty McCreery. Since I do not watch much t.v. my first time hearing it was when we were home in Florida visiting. I loved it immediately and since then has become a family favorite for my family. Recently, while singing this song I noticed my girls would point to me during the chorus of "I love you this big" and how it made my heart melt. As the song continued, I kept thinking about their first smile, first laugh, first steps, first boo boo, and the first time they rode their bikes without any training wheels, I remembered every moment as if it just happened and now here they are both in school and singing the same words to me that I have told them their whole lives. When the song was over, we quickly took to the next one on my playlist. However, this song filled my head for the rest of the day.

Later that evening, when it was time for bed, it was our time to talk about the day, reflect on the things we had done, and pray. And as we talked, I realized how quickly my little ones are growing up.I love this time of night because I get to talk to my children and pray with them individually. I get to see their perspectives on things and we have some really interesting conversations, but we also have some beautiful quiet moments. I tucked in my sweet Caroline and she prayed for the whole world and hugged me and reassured me again, that I would be fine once she began kindergarten. I just smiled because this is something she has reassured me of everyday since she finished preschool and our reading of the book "The Kissing Hand" by Audrey Penn. Great, but a heart wrenching book! I gave her kisses once more and went to my oldest daughter's room and this was our moment. Being that Grace is my more spirited child these evening conversations can be full of questions and energy but this night, she decided to ask me a very heartfelt question "mommy no matter how big I get, will you still love me no matter what?" I was shocked because I thought by now she knew I would always love her. I have only told her a million times since she was born that I did, but I softly explained to her that of course I did. No matter what! She took me by my hand and said ok just wanted to check. And at that moment she began to pray and I just watched her hands in mine. They were still so tiny like the first time she wrapped her hand around my fingers as a baby. Only this time, her fingers are longer and her palm had more strength and that was the moment that I understood she was still a little girl. Sure she is getting older, talks like an older child and at times there are things she does that I am sure she understands the reasons why, but still she has a young impressionable heart. She still needs my hands to steady hers. Whether it is to help take her first steps, or while learning about life's lessons. She still needs me, her mama, to remind her yes baby girl, " I love you this big!"

Needless to say, before I put myself in bed, this song kept playing over and over in my mind and finally it hit me. This song was on my mind as a reminder to not take for granted the need my children have for me and for myself to not take for granted the need I have for my heavenly father. As I began to pray that evening It was one filled with thanksgiving. One of thanksgiving for my children, husband, and friends and most importantly for a God that still loves me no matter what and will always say to me "I love you this big."

My Little Song Bird

I have written a post before about music and the effects it has had on my life, but have come to realize that it has not only moved me, but my children too. From the time they were babies, I would sit and sing to them. Most of the time it would be silly songs or classic lullabies. I remember how much better they would respond to me if I just did it in a natural sing song voice. Then my sweet ones became toddlers and no matter what I did during the day or how great their nap went that day, they always had what we called a "witching" hour before dinner, bath, and bedtime. So just as they were babies I would pick them up, turn on the radio and sing and dance our hearts out in the kitchen and for that brief time period in our life the "witching hour" suddenly became one of the most memorable experiences I have had as a mother with my kids. I remember how singing for them changed their mood and suddenly tears turned to laughter and my anxiety level would go down tremendously. I also remember that usually right before dinner was placed on the table, their daddy would come home, decked out in a flight suit and would join the fun. He would swirl and twirl the girls around before wrapping his arms around me to take the last dance before the song ended. And for those who do not know, boy can my man sing! He would sing the last tune and then it would be time for dinner. Everyone would eat, take their bath, brush teeth, read stories, and finally one last song before prayers. Oh how many days this was our normal routine.

Now that the girls are a little older being 5 and 7 they still continue to love music and songs. Now more than ever I am more mindful of what lyrics they hear because when they repeat them they are saying the actual words to the song verses making words to fit the sounds they were hearing. But still music for them is still soothing. Their voices are maturing, they can carry a tune and now many days it is them singing to me that is so uplifting. Currently, in our neighborhood there are several girls around my girls ages that love to perform and put on productions. So there are often front yard concerts given to any onlookers that are willing to sit and listen and boy can these girls sing a song.

Although the songs they are singing mostly are from current record labels from Sara Evans, Taylor Swift and other household names. Some songs do not change over time. Now that the girls are older they are not pulling at my legs at 5:00 crying for dinner, but they do have long days. Now they asked to be sung to when things have been a rough day or if they cannot fall asleep. So I gladly take my place as I have done so many times and rub their backs and sing to them the classic lullabies, and good southern hymns. My G's favorite being the old rugged cross. I can almost feel the deep sigh she takes every time we get to the part where it says until "my trophies at last I lay down". Oh sweet girl. You are so right.

This tradition is something I hope my sweet girls will do forever and will pass on to their children. If you have not done it in a while you should. Roll down the windows in your car and sing to the top of your voice, sing and dance with your children in the kitchen. Take a moment to enjoy a sweet song before bed. Not only will you feel better, but your kids will too. But you too might discover you have a song bird that can sing!

Going Home

Just recently me and the girls got to take a trip to my hometown of Pensacola, Florida. They love going and visiting my parents also known as GiGi and Granddaddy and their Uncle "B" and cousins while there. It is a place that I use to travel to frequently, but have now had to make it a annual visit since we live so far away here in California. I always know when I have landed home because as soon as I step off the plane I begin to sweat from the humidity and I can feel the stickiness that only a southern raised person can love. Our trip was full of business and we had lots to get accomplished in three weeks and amazingly enough we did it all. We started off with a birthday celebration for my dad and we actually surprised him with a great party, food, and guests. Then we headed to SC to check on our house and meet our new tenants. We also took time to visit with ageless friends and do a little shopping in the downtown Beaufort area. Oh how my heart still loves that place. That is another post all of its own. Then we headed back to Pensacola.

Most people know that my hometown is special because that is where I grew up, but it is also the place where I met my husband while he was in flight school so going home for me is a huge walk down memory lane. It is a place that is familiar, loving, and full of family. It is the place where I can be me, relax and eat the best seafood in the world. It is the place where my southern roots began and where hopefully one day will end. It is this sweet place that never gets old to me and becomes more appreciated by me with my own age. It is a place where my children understand how to fry a fish, eat a crawfish, shell a shrimp, can go wade fishing, and can appreciate the pruning of your fingers from swimming in the ocean all day. It is a place where as my Grace describes as the place with "the best smelling air". That would be the salt she recognizes at 7 that lingers in the air and can be felt on your skin.

Watching my children be at home with our family allowed me to remember me and my brother and cousins growing up. The beach trips we took, how we fished off of the 3 mile bridge with my papa, ate home cooked dinners every night with my mama and daddy, the ball games we went to and celebrated, the vacations taken, the spankings I got, the hugs that were given and reminding of how much I was loved everyday. It reminded me how no matter how old I get my family is always there for me just as they were when I was growing up.

Needless to say leaving home this time was a little more painful. It is funny how that works for me. You can't wait to leave a place when you are young, but count down the days til you can go back when grown. Oh how much I love my sweet home Pensacola!

You Are All My Favorites

Just recently we had a friend visit us from Kansas and it sparked an interesting conversation between me and my oldest child Grace. Now remember she is only 7, but she just kept asking me while my friend was here who is my best friend? Which one is my favorite and what about your other friends? I finally just explained, sweet girl they are all my favorites. I reminded her of one of our favorite books " You Are All My Favorites" by Sam McBratney. The book explains how no matter what the differences are between two siblings that the mother loves them just the same. I used this analogy to explain the love that I have for all of my friends. One things for sure about being a Marine Corps wife is that you get to meet a lot of different people in this world and often times find yourselves with groups of people with no common interest than the fact that you have a Marine as your spouse, but as strange as this may seem, it is really all you need to make long lasting friendships. Then there are your friends you make outside of the military too, that if it were not for moving you would have never met. So as I was explaining how people can have different friends and still love them the same to Grace, I began seeing so many faces in my mind. It left me feeling thankful and so I made a list for my friends. If you are reading this you will probably know exactly where you fit in to this puzzle and I want you to know that I love each of you and that everyone has a special place in my heart, not filled by other people, but by you alone. So here it goes:

I am thankful for my friends that I can call no matter what time of day and discuss important life decisions, whether it is shopping for new items ( carpet in a new house), or to be reassured that no matter how much money we spent, we deserved it!

I am thankful for those friends that have held my hand while having children without having a husband home to welcome our first baby.

I am thankful for my friends most like my spouse. They know exactly how to calm my nerves and they are always uplifting for me. They are my comforters.

I am thankful for the friends in which I can pray with. I am thankful for the ways they understand my heart and motives, even if I do not utter a word.

I am thankful for the friends that encourage my creative side. They tell me I can do things, and even if I flop encourage me to keep trying and give me blogs to read to help me in my endeavors.

I am thankful for friends that although we may not have started out so well, ended up being as close as anyone could be!

I am thankful for my friends near and far and that anytime I am anywhere close to them, they make a special effort to come see me. Those friends are priceless!

I am thankful for the friends that no matter how long it has been since we talked last, we always pick up right where we left off.

I am thankful for my childhood friends that I can keep in contact with especially now with the wonderful age of Facebook. I love watching how we have all grown and how their families are now growing too.

I am thankful for my friends that remind me there is a greater world out there and it is our duty to protect the innocent that live there.

Whew so much to be thankful for and I am sure I left off a couple and will probably remember them later tonight. As I finished naming some of these things to Grace, it also reminded me that over the years, these individuals have become so close to me that they are my "family". I just could not see life without them. So to all of my friends thank you for sharing life with me and my family. We love you and you are "All My Favorites"!

Leap of Faith

How many times in our life do we say we wish we could do something. I know personally there have been so many things that I wished I could do, but decided that maybe a change would be too hard, a risk to the things that I enjoy, or lack the faith to understand that things will work out according to God's purpose. As my christian walk has lengthened, I have found my faith to have grown as well. I have met many people along the way who claim to be believers and that they are faithful followers, however, many of them have never come to a point in their life to have to choose for themselves something out of their comfort zone. Since my move here to california, I have made some new friends. A great group of women. However, I really feel that God brought one friend in particular in my life to help hold me accountable. I have had the privilege to cry with this friend, pray with her, and share in her day to day moments of life. Just recently, this friend made a huge leap of faith by putting her words into action. She has a little boy and little girl in her life that would make any adult smile. They are vibrant, smart, and lovable little children. Her son, has some special concerns that has been placed upon them and unselfishly, my friend has decided not to return to teaching next year. She has put aside her own wants and desires and has placed her full trust in God that he will provide for her and her husband as they need. WOW! What a bold statement. Both working parents have so much more to offer financially to a household, but my friend is showing the strength is takes to stay home, nuture those children and support that sweet boy the best way she can. This leap of faith has been so inspiring to me. I know that God has a special direction he is taking this family and I am so thankful I am here to see it and be a support a long the way. I pray that this leap of faith helps me re-evaluate some things that I have been thinking about doing and actually doing them. For although faith is something that is not seen, it is also an action, it is putting words into movement. It is having that picture/ story " Foot Prints in the Sand" in my mind that when I feel that God has abandoned me that the reason I no longer see him is because he is carrying me. He has promised to never leave nor forsake us. For the prayer of a righteous man avails much.

Faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. (James 2:17)
Faith does not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power. (1 Corinthians 2:5)

Footprints

One night I had a dream--
I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord
and across the sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints,
one belonged to me and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of my life flashed before me,
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
I noticed that many times along the path of my life,
there was only one set of footprints.
I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest
and saddest times in my life.
This really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it.
"Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you would walk with me all the way,
but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life
there is only one set of footprints.
"I don't understand why in times when I needed you most,
you should leave me."
The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child,
I love you and I would never, never leave you
during your times of trial and suffering.
"When you saw only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."

...Mary Stevenson

Quiet Moments

If anyone knows anything about me, they would know that I love the ocean. I love it so much that I joke with my husband that with all of the blues in our home that surely the ocean will eventually come to us. I love everything about it. I love the smell of it, the sand beneath my toes, the animals that are in it and the feeling of calmness I get the moment that I am in the presence of it. It is not until I sit perfectly still that I notice the wind blowing on my face, how the crashing waves cause my body to be moved, and the birds cawing above me. It is during these quiet moments that I am able to reflect on things that have been on my mind. It is a time for me to pray and let my guard down. Although lately I have not been able to get to the beach as much as I did when we lived back east (pacific water is very cold), I have noticed there are new quiet times that I am appreciating. I love how my children will sit with me in the morning and talk about their dreams. I love how they relish in the bible reading I just did and want to know what I learned. I love how my oldest will still gently reach for my hand as we walk down the street together. I love seeing them say their bed time prayers, sing songs of praise before going to sleep and the soft snuggle I get before they do sleep. Hearing my youngest child read a book for the first time, while I am the spectator. When my husband gives me that reassurring smile, squeeze of the hand to say he loves me or the wink he gives me across the room to still let me know I am his girl are priceless moments to me. These quiet moments, although sometimes not silent, are more powerful to me than any ocean wave. It always amazes me how God teaches us. He has provided us with such an amazing example of his presence. Whether it is while I am at the ocean soaking it all in or hearing my little girl say all of the new testament books of the bible for the first time. It is in these moments that I remember why he reminds us in Psalms 46:10 "to be still and know I am God". The same God that controls a mighty ocean also has power over myself and family. It is through these things that I can feel his presence.

So for this weekend and the following week, I am going to remind myself more of this scripture, and take more notice to what I should be hearing in the quiet moments around me. Hold my tongue when things do not go as I planned or when I think I should speak. I will remember he is in control and allow him to lead me and feel him in my presence.

For the quiet moments is when I find my heart is seeking most.

Psalms 23: 1-3

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul."

When A Southern Woman Gets Mad!

When a southern woman gets mad the following happens:

She calls mama
calls a friend
whips out a wooden spoon
yells
eats comfort food
cleans a house until spotless
drinks sweet tea
takes a run
has retail therapy
Sings songs as loud as possible
drives a car like a nascar driver
cries

and when all of the above doesn't calm her down, you can always find a southern woman on her knees praying!